Far away home

To the far away home

To the far away home I stare

And I stare with confusion

There are people whom I love

And there are people whom I care

But in the midst of people I love and care

There are people who scare me

Sometime the reminder of that pain

Pricks me and I never want to face it again

Because I know I am too weak to face it again

But I belong to that far away land

The land which has given me so much

The home which has always blessed me

The friendship which has kept me going

I owe them more than words can ever describe

In this unknown land I reside now

I feel neither pain nor the happiness

And I enjoy this feeling of indifference

But I question myself Am I really living?

So I stare again to that far away home both with fear and love

Greeting from LATVIA

The Turkish airlines after almost 10 hours finally dropped us in the Riga air port leaving us in a place we never thought we would visit one day. We were welcomed with the cool breeze and all I could remember of telling my friend was “it is colder than Bhutan.” Unfortunately my friend lost her baggage and we had to report to the concerned authority. They helped us to file the complain and assured us that they would deliver the luggage to our apartment as soon as they get it. Our Erasmus buddy Inga and Laura, Latvian student who studies in Riga Technical University came to receive us. They had waited about three hours for us since we had mistaken the time of arrival. They helped us with everything and they were always there when we needed them. I don’t know how I can ever thank them for the help they rendered us.

I have always loved to live in a quiet place and sometime my mother use to tell me that I should settle in some goenpa where I can be free from the noise of the people, honking of the car, etc. To my utter happiness my apartment is about 20 minutes walking from the main town. It is a quiet place and I simply enjoy the view from my window. All the things that are necessary such as super market, bank and my civil engineering faculty classes are all just 5 minutes walking distance from my apartment but in different direction.

For next two weeks after arrival in the Riga, we were busy with signing of the agreement, opening bank account, getting student ID, attending seminars, attending nontraditional games ,visiting zoo and we also had ice breaking party. One thing that amazed me most was the services rendered, be in bank or in the institution. People are genuinely polite, they would help us with the things and all are well informed about our arrival in the institution. I was amazed with their management. Things are all done in systematic manner without any delay and I uttered to my friend “if I ever  wanted to do management course than I would definitely come back to Riga.”

I am a civil engineer student but whether I will be a good or bad engineer, I don’t yet know. And somehow we engineers love observing structure and design. I had to visit Riga old town time and again since the foreign student department’s administrative building is located there. Somehow I found all the design of the building so beautiful and have its own uniqueness. I am a Bhutanese, I do have respect for our traditional design but somehow I found design bit monotonous in Bhutan. I know it is too early for me to comment on the design with my very little knowledge but that is just my view. And I feel that everyone has the right to express their views.

Well this city is beautiful; it is neither too populated nor polluted. And believe me or not people are so tall and they have very beautiful skin. Sometime I would feel like they have just walked out of the movie. One of my apartment mate from Mongolia told us that they don’t take chilli because it spoils skin. well I was like”I can’t live without chilli.” And he started laughing. When he asked me why do we asian usually looks younger ,my answer was “because we take chilli.”.

p.s. My friend got her baggage after one day and they did deliver it to our apartment.

Freedom of monument of Latvia

National opera house

Near Baltic sea

International student near Baltic sea

Just a scene

She stole a look at him and he was there in his best black gho looking charming as ever. She pretended as if it didn’t affect her. He was concentrating hard in his physics class. She stole another look at him. It was advantage on her side since he use to sit in the first bench. He hardly talks with her and she tries hard to suppress her feelings for him. It’s just a swaying feeling she thought. He walks in front of her and she laughs thinking “weird guy have different walking style.” He halts and turns around to ask her friend for the physics practical note book. She acts as if she hadn’t notice him and pretends to be absorbed in her thought. “Why he didn’t ask my book” she heard herself talking to herself. “I did all the calculation and report and my friend just copied from me and he asks her instead of me. What is so wrong with me?” Another conversation with herself

There was a practical class and in the group of four he wasn’t there. Her friend tells her that he is not showing up for the practical class and she tells her “who cares…leave it if he does not want to do it” but she hears her own voice “you do stupid”. She starts doing her practical but every now and then she steals a look at the door to check whether he is coming or not. And after sometime he does. He walks with that expressionless face and talks to her friend. She acts as if she didn’t notice him. When he ask her question she gives a confusing answer or rather sarcastic suggestion like “you should go back to hostel and sleep if you can’t come on time.” he gives her a half smile. She tries not to blush. 

He sits in the first bench so that he can avoid seeing her since his attention turns around to her. He tries hard to concentrate in his physics class but her face with that smile he has seen in the morning pops in his mind every now and then. He walks in front of her so that he can hear her laughing and talking with her friend.  He hears “ouch sound” and turns around to check whether she was okays or not and realizes it as another girl. Out of embarassesment he asks her friend’s practical notebook. He steals a look at her and sees that she was busy watching skies “why does she make me feel so invisible. “He hears his voice.

He was watching football match when his phone rang. It was her friend calling him to come for practical class.” Damn it why did I forget.” He rushes to do the practical and sees her absorbed in her work. He asks her procedure and she says him to go back to hostel and sleep. Why does she hate me so much? he thinks

He walks away from her and joins other friend. He hears her giggling voice and turns around to see his friends near her. He was criticizing one of the class mates.  He was sitting idle in the corner when she came to return the instrument. He stands up to help her but instead of asking her to help he asks” is practical over?” she does not look at him and says “yes” and walks away. He followed the rest of the group including her. They were done with the practical and no one gave a damn shit to him. He walked lonely while she was accompanied with her ever best friend Phuntsho and rest of the group. She was laughing over the joke that Phuntsho was creating. He walked slowly since no one dared to care his absence but when they have walked some distance she turned around and looked at him. He tried to smile but to his dismay she turned back quickly.  But somehow his friends waited for him outside her hostel and he walked quickly to catch them. She bid good bye and went to her hostel.

Journey to Exchange program

At some point in life I feel that though I may not have everything that I desire, I do have everything that I need. A day before my departure to Latvia for the exchange program, I felt so heavy inside. I told myself several times that I will be just gone for about a year.  I can’t show my weakness to my family member because I know they will be worried more than me. I never wanted to give my family member any trouble or worry. They deserve to be happy and I just can’t bear to see them unhappy because of me.  But that was one part of the story.

 I was worried about my mother as she usually gets sick when she is not happy. She never wanted to send me away from her. when I told her about my view on applying for the exchange program she said” I am not educated like you, I don’t know what is good or bad for you when it comes to your education but sending you away frets me out.”  I didn’t say anything though I had a bunch of reason for applying for the exchange program. Somehow nobody in the family wanted me to go. So I told my family members that I am not applying anymore and I left for my college. There were about seven projects under which we can apply for the exchange program. I saw opportunity slipping from my hand easily and I was not happy. I have always obeyed to my family member for the decision they have taken for me so far.  Mother didn’t want to send me away as she was worried that something might happen to me and she might lose me. Others didn’t encourage me as I will be losing a year.

And one day something boosted me up and I had the strongest reason to apply for the exchange. I thought it’s now or never. So I called my brother not to discuss but to inform him that I was applying.  He told me that I have every right to make my own decision and he also knew that I was not going to change it even if he says something.  So I applied for it and believe me I put my heart and soul in the project I applied for the exchange program. I didn’t seek much help from other because I knew that was my journey and I am entirely responsible for it.  But without the grace of the god I would not have achieved though.  Before the result came my roommate asked me” what if you get selected, will you go?” I thought and after a while the only answer was “I don’t know, I applied because I don’t want to regret for the rest of my life for loosing such opportunity but If mother becomes sad, I don’t know what I will do.”

My family member gradually accepted my decision and when I got selected they had mixed feeling.  I was worried that mother would be sad but by the time I got home for summer vacation after 4 months she was happy. Everyone was actually happy for me.

When the day of departure came the only thought I had on my mind was “why did I apply?” I wanted to be with my family and friends and leaving the known shore seemed scary for me. My two eldest brother said “don’t worry about mother, she will be fine and don’t worry about anything here.  Enjoy your life and take care of your health.” My two brothers have always stood by my side whenever I needed someone ever since my parents got divorced. They have been my source of strength and only living being whom I trust. Like always I told them that I would be fine and I left them behind in pursuit of something I don’t yet know.