Out of blue

It was raining heavily as I ran to a restaurant for a shelter. I have forgotten to take my umbrella as usual even though my wife reminded about it several times. As I walked inside the restaurant I came across a familiar face. Both of us looked at each other surprised. She grinned at me and we hugged each other. It has been a very long time since we last met. We studied in the same college and I had a crush on her for a very long time. I could not approach her nor did she show me any sign other than friendship. I knew I was friend zoned and there was not any way out. We drifted apart after college. But something unexpected happened on the night of our graduation. As I was packing my stuff she called me and told me that she wanted to meet me. We went on a friendly walk. There was not anything romantic about it as she kept on talking about the employment opportunities. In the middle of the conversation she started teasing me with a girl; a remorse she has heard from her friends about my relation with that unknown girl. I was bit pissed off with her as she kept on teasing me with that girl when all I wanted was to tell her how I feel about her. I told her that I was not interested in any unknown girl she was teasing me and I prefer only friendship just like the kind of friendship I have with her. She didn’t say anything; she just laughed and said that was the best thing. So that’s it, nothing romantic and we drifter apart.

I took sit beside her as she ordered coffee for me. It was like the old time, how we use to eat in canteen with our limited pocket money. We talked about everything from job to spouse to kids. Then she said that she wanted to ask me something. She called it an old story. She asked me whether I felt anything for her during our college days. I laughed thinking how stupid those feelings were and told her that I did have crush on her. She also laughed and said some of her friends told her about his feelings. So it seems like no secret is ever kept secret. And it reminded me about that night. It stuck my mind that she actually wanted me to confess to her that night or may be propose if I am not mistaken. When I asked her she laughed and said that I did confess.

When I walked home that day after meeting her I wondered how my life would have been if I have actually told her. There were lots of questions and what if stuff in mind. At the end I thought if I was meant to be with her I would have been. Believe it or not at the end of day it is all about fate.  May be I don’t have any other excuses or anything to blame but fate. But as I saw my wife half way to my house with an umbrella, what if evaporated from my mind and I knew why sometime things are better of the way they are.

Hardest answer

There is a part of her that is dark

Beneath that calm soul demon lurks

Often wondered why demon dwells inside her

But for so long she hasn’t received the answer

She heard people calling her calm person

Yet she reminded them of having darker side

They laughed in disbelief

She smiled knowing that it is also one of her side

Not many see her darker side

 With time she knew about the demon within

The envious demon makes its appearance

Whenever she becomes closer to someone

Her demon hurts only people she care

Often making them scared of her

And she heard them telling her that too

She wondered will anyone stand by her side with demon inside

Her only answer was may be only insane will

She searched for solution to kill the demons inside

Then only did she get the hardest answer

To stay away from the one she cares
But she wont let it win not this time

Uniqueness

Some years ago (high school) I listened to some talks by some well known people but it seems I was not that mature enough to grasp what they said. We were asked to sit in the multi-purpose hall. We were excited not to listen to the talks but to escape from the social work (SUPW) and the scorching sun. I don’t remember what speaker told us exactly because most of the time I was sleeping with my head on friend’s back while she shielded me from the view of teachers and the speaker. Somehow in the middle of the talk I heard the speaker telling us again and again  that our country Bhutan do not have anything such as powerful weapon, wealth or population that would define who we are. But what we have is something unique that none other has and that is our culture and tradition. Our unique culture and tradition define who we are. Well seriously speaking I didn’t know what he was actually talking about. And it didn’t even bother me to ponder over the things he said. As soon as the talk came to an end, I hurried to catch my bus.

Now when I think about it, I have the guilt of not appreciating what we have. I remember often thinking about the structures which has more or less same design.  I even remember telling my friends that design of almost all building are so monotonous. Why can’t we build or come up with the design like that of foreign countries. I always have this craving to see unique structure or anything that is different. I even use to narrate the jokes I heard. I think most people know about it but I do not know whether it is true or not. A tourist once asked “isn’t there any architecture in Bhutan?” Well I am sorry if it is not true or if it turned out to be offensive. And other non-stop talks about how important it is to preserve our culture, our religion, traditional dress and so many.  I don’t know but I didn’t even bother to think about it. It is not that I didn’t care at all; I follow the rules like having to wear our national dress when going to monastery or to schools or classes. I have been a good follower when it comes to rules and regulation but it was not out of my genuine concern. I am Buddhist by religion and it is a shame on my part when I cannot tell our core values of our religion when someone ask about it. I do have a vague idea of how our religion is but if someone asks me for details, I do not have it.  That is when I feel guilty or ashamed of being ignorant.

It is true that we do not have anything proud to talk about other than our unique culture and tradition, at least from my point of view. And the surprising thing is when other people know more about our country than we do. It now makes sense why foreigners appreciate our preserved culture and tradition.It also makes sense why we donot create structural design like that of foreign countries. one of my architect friends said while i was blindly criticizing about design , it is a challenge to keep our architecture alive while incorporating modern facilty. i think little knowledge is indeed very dangerous (reminder to myself)  Uniqueness defines who we are. When I see something different or something new it’s refreshing. Reflecting back, I feel happy and proud now that our elders and those who knew about the essence of our uniqueness have kept our identity alive. Every individual will have their own perception and I respect that. But for me I have the responsibility to take care of our uniqueness.  In the fast changing modern world we should embrace the changes but at the same time let us not forget who we are.  If we do not take care of the root of what defines us then who would.

Thank you note

My face book home page is filled with the earthquake news that has brought major destruction in Nepal. As I scroll down the page, I see the images of people killed, structure destroyed, road damaged and a lot more.  Tears wells in my eyes when I think about the people who are undergoing this phase right now.  The death rate is also increasing. When natural disaster like this happens, we become prey to it. There are safety measures’ but lives are still lost .so  we can only hope that such disaster won’t strike again. For all those people who have lost their dear ones, I am very sorry. I pay my deepest condolence and I hope that such hours of darkness gets over soon.

When disaster like this occurs, we are reminded about how fragile our life is and about our impermanence.  We often tend to think more about what has not yet happened than to thank about what we have got so far. One day such things happen and you never got a chance to say thank you to all those wonderful people who has made your journey worthwhile and to live with such regret will be like having a disease without any cure. No one knows when will be the last day of our life. So why not thank now and be good to people in your small way. We need not have to be the remarkable person in others people life and not all will become so important in our life also. But everyone has the role to play and if it has made us who we are today and if we are grateful about it than be thankful. Even those people who made us cry has brought some change  in a positive way than be thankful.

So with this thought I want to thank my family for their unconditional love and support. Despite of so many ups and downs in our life, we have stood strong side by side.  We still have so many miles to go and knowing that you all will be there in my life will always make me happy no matter how hard my life becomes.  If tomorrow something happens I want to let you all know that being your daughter and the sibling has been the best gift of my life. Thank you very much my family. I always think like what I did in my previous generation that I always land up being friends with  wonderful people.  I have met lots of wonderful people and yes some drifted apart but I still have more who are always there when I needed them and I would be there for them also. My friends have always made me happy and yes some do criticize me a lot sometime but that’s the beautiful part of friendship. We need not have to fear of saying what we want to say and they accept us as who we are. So thank you all for your friendship. Yes I did come across people who also made me cry or angry. But then now when I think about it I feel silly for being so immature and I do know that I do have mistake on my part as well. In some way I feel you all made me softer and made me think that not everyone is same and helped me to develop a kind of acceptance nature. Thank you very much for that and I did learn that lesson in a very hard way. And for the special someone who came to my life, thank you very much. I mean every word of thank you. And I want to thank all of people I have met even through facebook, blog or other social media. You all have also been wonderful people. Some inspired me, some encouraged me and some made me happy by going through my blog and some let me read their beautiful articles. Thank you very much. 

Travelling?

I was a lazy person when I was in CST and in some way I still am. All I ever wanted was to keep myself within the four walls of my room and believe me it was not boring.  The assignment, term test, presentation and a lot more was there to keep us fully engaged and I do miss this things. I don’t remember of going out much except the frequent visit to the goenpa below our college. Whenever I go to goenpa my friends would make fun of me and say “are you going for your leejong(exercise) ?“ well I once told them that I was going for leejong  and since then they didn’t leave me alone for using the proper dzongkha word. Actually I really thought of taking a walk to goenpa daily because one of my friends told me that I look weak and fragile and need to do some exercise. But then I could not stick to the schedule and yes I am still weak and fragile. May be one fine day I will seriously carry out my physical exercise. Even when there are holidays for two to three days, I will prefer to stay in college and watch some movie or do something rather than going home because I vomit like twice or thrice before I reach home.  So I guess this lame excuses stopped me from travelling and I thought I was not a travelling kind of person. I even remember telling some of my friends and my roommate from CST who is now in Abertay Dundee was like “I thought you didn’t like travelling” When we talked few days back. 

But then I came to Riga, beautiful and calm city meant for person like me. I don’t like noisy and overcrowded places and Riga does not have any of those things. God did listen to me this time. I did see my seniors travelling when they came for exchange but I never thought I will also travel. I thought of travelling to few places and specially Prague. Ever since I watched the bollywood movie rock star in 2^nd year, Prague was stuck in my head and I didn’t know how and when but unknowingly I did wish to visit this place. I am very bad in geography and all those time I thought Prague was in Germany. Well sometime I can be so ignorant. So when one of my classmates in RTU told me that he is from Czech Republic, I was like where is this place. I had a very good laugh later on when I knew that Prague was the capital of Czech Republic.

So if you have the Schengen visa and very good monthly stipend (for exchange stipend is very good), you just cannot stop travelling. Even if you have thought initially to save some money, the idea evaporates when you know that may be travelling to the other places and countries in Europe may be once in a life time opportunity and the travelling list goes on. The roads are straight so I don’t vomit even if I travel in bus or train, another plus point for me. And I really started to appreciate those engineers who have constructed roads in Bhutan which is filled with mountains. It must have been so challenging.  Only two and half months left and another trips on its way and then I will be back home.  I know that one day when I look back and think of my days in Europe, it will always bring a smile on my face and  may be  will feel bit nostalgic. May be for a short period of time, my dream to study outside, learn about their education system was fulfilled.   Somehow I feel that it is not that we Bhutanese are not capable, it is just that we do not have those facility at our disposal to do things we wanted to do. But then rather than complaining we have to make use of what we have. For this wonderful opportunity I will always be thankful to both the home and Host University and the project in particular.

p.s few pictures from places I visited during easter holiday.

View from Astronomical tower ,Prague,Czech Republic

Charles Bridge, Prague, Czech Republic

Charles Bridge,Prague Czech Republic

Dancing house,Prague,Czech Republic

Vienna,Austria

Conference room, United nation office in Vienna, Austria

Vienna city hall

Schonbrunn Palace, Vienna, Austria

Budapest,Hungary

Budapest,Hungary

Parliament building, Budapest, Hungary

Chain Bridge,Budapest, Hungary

Buda Castel, Budapest,Hungary

Museum Wojska, Warsaw,Poland

Stadion Narodowy, Warsaw,Poland

Old town, Warsaw,Poland

Old town, Warsaw, Poland

Warsaw,Poland

The confession

 As i stare at nothingness in front of me, a feeling of emptiness started to crawl into my soul longing for someone whom I have not met for years. It is not the first time I have felt those emptiness but every time I feel, I fall victim to it. I could not do anything to erase those feelings. May be sometime it is better to let the time heal. But I know that it will take a very long time since I have problem of letting go. Or maybe I never let anyone go.  Will he forgive me if I go back to that place?  The question lingers in my mind. I stare at his photo in one of social network and wondered why after all this years he called me and suddenly told me that he is getting married. Is it because there is still hope for us to get together or is it something else. I shut down my lap top and tried to drive his thought away, but the harder I tried the longer it persisted.

I took the first flight next day and by afternoon I was back to where it all started.

 I met my friend Tshomo who as soon as she saw me blurted out questions.

”So did you marry?”

“I did not find a perfect man, someone who deserves me.” I said somewhat in a joking manner.

“No one deserves you and there is not anyone. All the good man are married and left one are either widow or divorced one.” she said sadly.

“I should go for one of them then what you think?”

“Yes you should!!” she encouraged me.

Marriages and love was something which I have been running away from. These feelings gave nothing but the feeling of sadness and pain. And I knew better than anyone that I cannot endure such pain.

“By the way would you mind to tell me what actually happened between you and Phuntsho way back in college?” she questioned me.

Phuntsho was a guy whom I have known just for few months and before I knew what I was actually doing; I knew that I was somehow drawn to him and I didn’t want it to happen. I felt insecure about the whole lot feeling stuff.

“You already know the answer.”

“I know but I think; now that I have missed something.”

“You did not miss anything tshomo. “

“You swear?”

She put me in an absurd situation. And I did not know what to say because I did not want to tell her that I have been selfish all along.

“I don’t and forget about it now. As you know …”she cut me off of what I was going to tell her.

“Just tell me in detail.”She said sternly.

“Ok Phuntsho and I were just friends but I somehow knew  that things will never work out between us I mean more than friendship.”

“But you two liked each other right?”

“I cannot say that I liked him. I was never sure of how I felt for him.”

“You were sure and that is why you did that thing. You were scared to confess your feelings because you cared about your image more than anything else.” She blurted out.

It took me a couple of minute to absorb the things and I knew that she was partially right.

 “May be you are right but more than image I cared about my education, a simple thing.”

“Or if you put it other way  why don’t you say that you were scared to fall for him since you never trusted a guy before and it was just to get away from him. “She ejaculated.

“I know you are right more than anything I was scared of falling for him, marrying him because these things seemed not necessary that time.  I was also scared to deny the fact that I actually like him but I neglected it because I had seen enough of broken loves, marriages and families just like mine and I didn’t want to be one of the victim.”

“Why don’t you get it that it will not be same for everyone.”

“Yes I do tshomo but only for those few lucky ones just few not all.”

“Then ok why did you come back?”

I had hard time answering her and finally I said “I don’t know…..”

She didn’t say anything and after some time l left home. I shuffled through my old drawer and found his greeting card for our friend ship day. I stared at the greeting card and thought isn’t there nothing more than friendship between us but the answer was obvious there wasn’t anything more than friendship at least from his side. Or am I wrong?

It was July, three years back.  I called him and told him that I wanted to meet him and he agreed. I waited for him in one of the restaurant and he came. He grinned when he saw me and I smiled back.

 He congratulated on my graduation and asked me whether I was appearing for the RCSC exam or joining project and he suggested me that I should join the corporation where he was working.

“If you join we can be neighbor and as said before I will come to your place for dinner.” he said laughing.

“But I am a bad cook and I guess it will be other way round.”I said.

“Does not matter as long as you are near me I will do whatever that makes you happy.” 

I didn’t say anything I just smiled and after taking a deep breath I said”I am leaving for masters.”

He gave a hearty laugh and said” are you pulling my leg? Why so early?”

“ I just want to study for few more years.”

His face grew somber and I knew that he wasn’t happy. He looked away and didn’t face me and said” you are so unpredictable and any ways congratulation. I am happy for you.”

“I wanted to tell you earlier but I didn’t have the guts and now I have no other option but tell you and I hope you understand. You are my friend.”I sounded like a little kid that time.

“Yangchen you never understood me. Why don’t you understand that there is more than….” After saying that he trailed off

I knew what he wanted to tell but I ignored what I knew and felt because nothing seem important than my education that time.

I left after few days to pursue my education. He neither called me nor emailed me. I knew that like any other boy he would also forget me eventually. And I felt that I have done the right thing because true love does not exist in real world. And no one will have the patience to wait for someone for 3 years.

Every day I would check my email just to see whether he had replied my email but he did not and I felt that I was wrong all the way. He never did feel what I felt for him. I stopped sending him mails after that and never had I heard from him until few days back in college. I was going to apply for a job in states itself and when I heard his voice that day I wanted to see him for the very last time. He called me to tell me that he was getting married.

I searched for his present address and went to his place the next day. I knocked on the door since the door bell wasn’t working properly. I tried again and a woman opened the door. Is he married? I heard my inner voice. The woman stared at me.

I gathered my guts and asked her “is this Phuntsho’s place?”

At that time Phuntsho appeared from the corridor carrying a laptop bag. He looked at me surprised. I didn’t know what to do.

“Can I talk with you?”I finally asked.

He did not say anything and I left the place. He followed me and we went to a quiet place.

“I am sorry for appearing all of a sudden. It is insane and absurd of me. I just hope your wife won’t scold you later on.”

He did not say anything and the awkwardness seemed to deepen between us.

“How have you been?”I asked.

“Why did you come back?” he asked me back.

“I wanted to see you I mean it is absurd but when you told me that you are going to marry, I felt like I was losing something important. And I didn’t want it to lose but it seems like I have already lost.”I ejaculated.

“I guess I have to go and let us meet tomorrow evening same time and same restaurant.” after saying that he left.

I sat there like an idiot; I didn’t know what to say because I was so confused. But before I could ask him he left. Same restaurant and same time what is he talking about.  I was back home and I called my friend tshomo to discuss what Phuntsho was actually talking about. I realized that he wanted to meet me in the same restaurant where I told him about my departure.

“That means he is going to introduce me to his wife and make me feel what I made him feel three years back.”

“May be you should meet him.” Suggested tshomo

“I don’t want to meet his wife”

But then I think I was out of mind because I did go to that restaurant next day.

 He was already waiting for me when I entered the restaurant. It was such a relief to see that that woman wasn’t around. He assured me to a sit and I sat there like an employee appearing for the interview. We sat there for couple of minutes without exchanging any words. I wanted him to forgive me for what I have done and so I asked for the forgiveness.

“May be I can forgive you but only on one condition. “He said

Meet his wife I thought

“What is that…?”

“You should marry me.”

I sat there perplexed and looked around. Am I dreaming?  But how can he be so real if its dream.

Then suddenly that woman face appeared in my mind.

“But you are already married!”

“You knocked on the wrong door, that was not my house. I didn’t marry  and I called because I really wanted to know how you felt about me before I move on”

And he smiled and suddenly the room temperature seemed to have risen up. He held my hand and said “is that no or what?”

I won’t have said no in the millions of years…

Between more and less

I am a little less scared dear

For I know I have you with me

I am a little more hopeful

For you let me see the brighter side

 I fell for you little more every day

For you make me feel secure

I ask little less about the puzzle of life

And I thank more for what I have

For the little more memory everyday

Thank you little more day by day

And In between the little more and the little less

The journey of life suddenly seem  worth the ride

Halt for sometime..

Wake me not for a while dear time

I want to live in this moment

 Want to feel more for sometime

Coz I haven’t felt this way for a very long time

Stand still for a while dear time

Like you stood when I wanted you to sprint

Now you are doing the other way round

Why can’t we cooperate for some time

I do not wish for never ending happiness

But just for sometime halt for a while

Coz If this is a dream then it is a beautiful one

So let me dwell in it just for little more

Who is she?

There was something about her that drove my attention. She walks elegantly through the graveyard of sadness. She carries herself with grace and beauty through the challenges she has to face every day. She conceals her pain and dreams if it contradict with the thought of people she love. She rejoices in their happiness and she thinks more about her loved one than she ever does for herself. Who is this selfless woman?  She does not complain even if things do not turn into her favor.  She works hard and makes sure that people she love and care do not go through the things she went through.  At the end of the day if asked about her remarkable achievement in life then she would say” Raising my kids” With a smile. So there is something different about her and I wonder who she is….

The conversation

It was one chilly January  in 2014 when I was doing temporary job in National Housing Development corporation limited (NHDCL) along with my other classmates from CST.  We use to do housing survey in the morning and compile data and make building plan in the afternoon. The office hour ends at 5 pm in the evening. Since it becomes darker earlier than the summer time, I have to walk fast to the city bus parking to catch the bus. I usually don’t take taxi because it is expensive, need to pay double the fare of the bus and I have to walk about half an hour after it drops me to the nearest stop. If I have to take taxi till home, I need to pay extra fare. I didn’t want to pay extra and I also didn’t want to walk in darkness as it creeps me out. While on the other hand, the bus drops me near my home.

There will be lots of people waiting for the bus when I reach there. Sometime I don’t get place to sit but if I am lucky enough I get on other days. May be that day was quite lucky for me since I got a seat just two seats away from the door. As usual I was tired but I could not help listening to the two girls’ conversation. One of them was my junior when I was in Middle Secondary school but she didn’t recognize me.  They were perfectly dressed just like any other office goers. I wondered what they might be doing at such a tender age.

The junior girl said that she does not feel like going home since her brother in law tries to molest her. When she complains to her sister, she scolds her back.She could not go back to her parents since they were in village. And her only hope is to find a job and get away from her sister and the brother in law.There was not tears in her eyes. May be tears are not only an indication of sadness. But   the rueful face, did tell the untold.   The other girl looked at her empathically.  She did say something but I could not hear properly as the bus stopped and few passengers rushed to get out. Maybe they must have seen me staring at them because they stopped talking. I felt so sorry for my junior and I was awestruck after hearing her conversation.

She got off few stops before me and I wondered what will be waiting for her at home.  After hearing her conversation, I could not stop thinking about all those people who get molested just because they are under privileged. I have heard such stories mostly from the third person but to hear from the victim did send a chill down my spine. Question started popping up in mind. How many people are there in Thimphu city who comes to stay with their relatives, brothers and sisters?  How many are there who are going through such things?  How many are there who has to put pretentious face every day to escape from such harsh reality?  Thimphu is not a big city but it does have its own sad and bitter face. The place where I have spent more than two decade didn’t seem friendly and clean anymore.

Few Moments to remember

I was sitting near my study table with my laptop in front of me but I was hardly looking at it. My exam was over in the afternoon and I was looking forward for the trip me and my friends have been planning since November. I have to leave next day for our first destination but there was a battle going on in my mind. Due to recent terror incident in Paris and Brussels and some suspect caught in Berlin, my first, second and fourth destination I was quite scared. My friends and family back home told me to cancel the trip but I tried to convince them that there is nothing to worry about as the security has tightened everywhere. I told them that it is safer now then it has been before the attack. But deep down I was frightened. Lots of scary Images started to pop in my mind but cancelling the trip was never an option. The only thought I had in my mind when I left for my first destination was if I die then that’s it the end of my story.

As expected when we reached Paris the security has tightened but it was not scary like the images I had in my mind. Everything was normal and I felt happy for not cancelling the trip. I always imagined Eiffel tower to be a mega structure but when I saw it, it failed to meet my expectation but it is beautiful.  We could not go to the top floor of the tower since it was under maintenance but the view from the second floor was also truly breath taking. We could see the whole city from the tower and my word will fail to describe how beautiful it was. After that we went to visit museum, several churches, did ice skating for the first time, visited lovers bridge where you see thousands of lock and looking at those locks I thought  that somehow in the  midst of  so many  people  who have stopped believing in the true essence of love , there are still some who does believe.  It is a beautiful city truly meant for couple and romance.

After staying there for three days we went to Brussels in Belgium for our next destination. We went to see Manneken pis, Atomium, Royal palace and other places which I barely remember now. We had our lunch in one of Indian restaurant as I always look for something spicy. My mouth becomes watery now also when I think about that lunch.  We only stayed in Brussels for one and half day. Due to time constraint we could not visit some of the places like aquarium and mini Europe. But we did see the view of the mini Europe from the Atomium. In Brussels we get delicious waffle. 

Our next destination was Amsterdam in Netherland.  It is completely different from the countries I have visited so far. I admired the building structure near rivers. You can see beautiful scene. But the city is so open.  There are some places which really surprised me.  We visited Anne frank’s house and they have some of her stuff from her diary. Sadly we were not allowed to take any pictures. Tears welled in my eyes when I read some of her words from her diary. Death will be better for me than to live a life under the fear of terror. We also visited heineken museum which shows how the heineken beer has emerged and how it became popular. Funny but so far I have not known about this beer so seems like it has failed to reach some people like me. They offered us beer and we were demonstrated how to drink beer. I never drank before but it seemed rude not to drink when they have asked us to drink all together. I at least took two sip and It was not bad.

The next stop was in berlin and it is filled with war history.  We visited the institution of terror where we can see how people were punished during Hiter’s time.  I went through some article and believe me I didn’t want to know more. It was terrifying for me.  Berlin is meant for those people who like history. I donot hate history but I donot want to learn history where violence is involved. When I studied about world war one and two in my eighth grade I use to love world history about Hitler and Mussoloni the dictator of germany and Italy. But seeing how people were treated I felt very sad that they had to be born during such times.   Berlin is cheaper than the other three cities I visited and we get very good asian spicy food. Sadly not with ema datsi and red rice though.

And our final stop was in Bremen Germany where we met three of our friends who studies in Bremen as a research assistant and after travelling for 12 days I got back to Riga safe and sound.  It was a wonderful trip but tiring as we had so many places to visit but so little time.

p.s few pictures from trip.:)

Night view Paris

On the way to eiffel tower at night: Paris

Painting of Mona lisa in Musee du Louvre: Paris

Front View of Eiffel tower during day time:Paris

View from second floor of Eiffel tower: Paris

Locks on lover bridge: Paris

Manneken Pis in Brussel;Belgium

Atomium in Bruseel;Belgium

View of mini Europe from Atomim Brussel;Belgium

Dawn in Brussel;Belgium

Amsterdam;Netherland

Anne frank's diary. Picture captured outside her house 

Night view Amsterdam;Netherland

Heineken experience in Amsterdam;Netherland

Berlin Dome;Germany

Holocaust in Berlin;Germany

One of the painting on Berlin wall;Germany

Small city in Bremen Germany

The creepy new year eve

On 31^st of December 2014, we left for Sigulda, an hour by train from the Riga city centre.Sigulda is known as one of the tourist destination in Latvia. Since we booked the hotel at the last moment we couldn’t get nearby hotel. When we reached there only we knew that the hostel we booked was on the other side of the valley. We had to go by cable car because we were tired of searching for hostel in the wrong place for about three hours.

We met some tourist from Lithuania in cable car and we thought that they were going to stay in the same hostel we booked. The hostel looked like a museum or a big mansion. We met one lady who takes care of the hostel. She was very polite and gave us the main door key. It was a big mansion and she told us to lock the hostel when we sleep since we were the only guest that night.  I began to have a creepy feeling. The mansion was so big and bit old. She gave us the key of the main door which worked at first. But when we tried again it did not work.  Then she gave us the side door key and showed us the way. The elevator worked very slowly and the light was also dim. After showing the side door she left for her home since it was New Year eve. So in the big mansion there were only four of us.

I started to think about all those horror movies I have watched.  One of my friend said that it was all set up. He pointed out how the main door key did not work, the slow elevator which may stop working at any time, the lady who was very polite and the creepy feeling. The silence of the mansion screamed at us.  There were paintings hung on the wall and one of the paintings has a girl. I could not look at her as I felt like the painting was holding something inside and if I look at her that thing may come out at anytime. I was literally holding my breath.

After having dinner in one of the nearby restaurant we headed back to hostel. I wished more than anything to go back to Riga but cable car was not in operation until the next day. The sight of the mansion in the darkness sent chill down my spine. But I didn’t have any other choice and feared what might happen tonight. After taking a quick nap, one of my friends suggested to explore the mansion. I was against the idea but I was also scared to be left alone in the room. So we headed to the second floor. It was totally dark. We didn’t have torch, except the flash light from our cell phone and one of my friend started making video telling us that if something happens to us, people will get the evidence. I didn’t say anything as I was too scared. I followed them and as one of them put on the light, the light started flickering. One of them said that it was scary. By that time I was drenched with fear, I could feel my heart beating so fast. There was television in the hall way and when we tried to put on it did not show anything except some blur stuff. After sometime it showed some channel telecasting movie in Latvian.one of my friend said that camera was not working  and something was really wrong with the place adding fuel to the fire. But it worked again after sometime. After exploring second floor one of them suggested to go to third floor. I pleaded them to explore in the morning and they agreed.

We had brought some wine to celebrate the New Year. I drank thinking that sleep would betray me that night and also I wanted to celebrate New Year. But I could take only few sips since I did not like it. We watched fireworks at night and roamed around in woods. I don’t know if it was because of the wine or because of the weary day, I did get a very good sleep in the creepy beautiful mansion.    And when I woke up in the morning, I learned that the mansion was a hospital before and one of my friend assumed that where we stayed might be psychiatric ward since we could see beautiful scene from there. Thank god I didn’t know about that before. In the morning the fear was gone and mansion started to look beautiful and the painting also didn’t scare me. So maybe I am scared of the darkness. The day turned out to be an awesome one with the walk in snow and beautiful places in Sigulda.

Sight of hostel at night

Painting i couldnot look at night

hostel

Gutmana cave

Chimi's snow man