Answer

She walks with her head held high

For she believe her heart is send for mend

She smiles with the people around

For she is a strong girl people think

But when night grows older

When she cocoons alone in her room

Does she cry for the heaviness inside

And  when the dawn breaks again

She puts that pretentious face of happiness

For she has to be happy for people who cares her

But  scar runs down  too deep to heal

She dare not to share the dream

Those dream which made her happy once

She has build a chamber around her

And in it she dwells now

Her trust over the life is shaken

But not her faith over the god

Even when her only aim shattered 

Her faith was not broken

And she is determined not to let it happen

She waits for the answer

For she knows it will take time

But god shall answer her eventually

For letting things happen she was not prepared for…

Mundane life

She picked up the book that her friend gave and sat on the window sill with a coffee in one hand. The weather has turned gloomy and that gave her a bit of happiness. She love watching rain falling and as expected it started to drizzle. She tried to read the book but somehow her mind didn’t cooperate. It wandered off like any other day bringing a lot of unanswered question.

Taking up the responsibility of the family has always been something she was scared of back in college.  She wanted to be care free, wander off to different places and do stuff that she like. She didn’t want to depend on other nor did she want to settle down like some of her friend did. And it reminded her of the discussion she use to have with her friend back in college.

“Life is so mundane; right after college we will be searching for a job for survival, after that we will settle down and then will be getting married. After marriage we will be raising kids and there will be lots of things pressuring us. We will be doing the same thing that our parents did.  Why are we doing like that? Why can’t we do something different? I want to take up research and work on it. I don’t want to join some project or some corporation. I wish if I can just study throughout my life without having to depend on other. “She said

“But we have to follow the norms and regulation of the society. If you don’t get married people will talk bad things behind your back. And who is going to be there for you when you get sick.  Don’t you wish to have someone holding your hand by your side? Don’t you wish to have someone to take care of you when you get old? Yes life is mundane but that’s how life is.” One of her friend said.

“What if families are the source of illness because they give pressure and I can’t really handle relationship and social life.  Devoting yourself to that one person and if that one person leaves you then that will be the hardest thing to accept and I already felt a tinge of it and I don’t want it to happen again. So no way I am stepping out of it. I neither want happiness from such things nor the sadness. All I want now is a happy solitude life and I don’t care about the rest. And about society I never gave a damn shit things to what people say.  As long as I am comfortable with who I am and what I am I am sure I will be happy with it.”

The debate went on but none of her friend could convince her but deep down she knew what they were saying was the only truth.  A mundane boring life following what has been followed and she wished if her path gets diverted.

In the mean time the rain has stopped drizzling and she picked up her book again and tried to read…

Blessed

Some people can really understand us without even communicating. Even if we try to hide the sadness they would somehow make out that something is wrong. Even if we say that everything is all right, they would know that something is not ok.  And when days seems frustrating and sad they would make call when you need them the most as if like they were watching your every move. As if they were standing by our side like an invisible angel. Yet so far they would make us feel like they were there with us. And I am blessed to have someone like you by my side my dearest Big B(Your name in my phone book brother). Without you I know I won’t have the courage to face the world. You are my best friend, a mentor and an inspiration. You stood by my side when I was shinning bright, you stood by my side when I drowned, you didn’t judge me, you accepted me the way I was and you made me realize who I was and what I should do. I guess blood is thicker than water. Thank you brother for everything